Weekly Roundup: 03/30/08 - Supersized!
March 30, 2008I’m out for the weekend, so as this article automatically goes live on this presumably bright Sunday morning, it’d still feel like I’m right behind the computer, talking to you and posting this article. When in reality, I’m probably passed out on the floor of my friend’s house and oddly missing my personal and monetary belongings, with the words “I’M SKEET ULRICH” written on my forehead with a marker.
Now Summer, I hate you and your hot, summery ways, but if you promise to make me wake up hung over and with “I’M SKEET ULRICH” temporarily tattooed to my forehead more often, I shall promise to not hate you as much in return. We cool? Great. Shake and bake?
Anyway, as implied by the title, this will be the biggest Weekly Roundup yet. So whip out your pistols and shine your horses (?) boys and girls, and get ready for a rootin’-tootin’, bandwidth-rapin’ good time as I present to you this week’s roundup! SUPERSIZED!
1. I AM IIIRON MOOONGERRR! Okay so that doesn’t really work without me quasi-singing it. But lookit! Iron Monger is about to kill Tony Stark with A FRIGGIN’ CAR! Two more photos can be found at Yahoo!.
2. Matthew Fox, looking like he desperately needs to take a shit but finds it necessary to beat up this goon who kinda resembles Robert Englund first, as Racer X in the Wachowski Brothers’ upcoming Speed Racer movie. More photos at Firstshowing.net.
3. Did I not tell you that this was going to be the biggest Weekly Roundup ever? Check out this Will Smith action shot as he plays the titular hobo-hero in Hancock. You can view more photos of Smith and co-star/man-god Jason Bateman at DVD-forum.at.
I Am A Genius of Unspeakable Evil; I Also Have X-Files 2 Stuff
March 28, 2008So I was going about my usual Friday morning of drowning puppies and compiling articles for this weekend’s Roundup when I came across two interesting pieces that I just had to share with you ASAP. And lighten up, with the puppies. I was just kidding. I love puppies.
I can’t say the same for geese, though. Stupid geese. I wish all the geese in this planet would die! FOR GOOD!!! FINITO!!! CAPICE?!
Anyway. X-Files 2 poster, courtesy of xfilesnews.com. Sweeeeeet.
WWE Films: It’s Time to Blow the Lid Off of It!
March 27, 2008Somebody’s seen Wake Up, Ron Burgundy one time too many. Come to think of it, the title for this article doesn’t even make sense. You know what else doesn’t make sense? The fact that we don’t see enough people over the age of 70 engaging in knife fights.
Anyway. Earlier this week, Variety reported that WWE Films signed Steve Barnett as its new Senior VP for Production to oversee the sports entertainment magnate’s increased thrust into movie-making. Barnett co-produced The Spiderwick Chronicles and Frank Miller’s 300, and served as executive producer for George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead and Diary of the Dead.
After the considerable success of their previous film efforts (See No Evil, The Marine, The Condemned), the WWE is counting on Barnett to kick things into high gear as they now aim to produce at least one theatrical and four straight-to-DVD releases a year. The latest addition to their slate is the (I shit you not) DVD-exclusive Behind Enemy Lines 3: Colombia, starring Ken “Mr. Kennedy”
The Weekly Roundup: 03/23/08
March 23, 2008Happy Easter everybody! Just a little reminder, kiddos: When your Uncles tell you that you can hunt for eggs inside their shortpants, they’re lying! They’re talking about their testicles! Do you know what testicles are? No? Come here, I’ll sho—
1. This one’s for my friend Calai who’s been asking for some Dune news for, like, forever: Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights, The Kingdom, the upcoming Hancock) has confirmed that he will indeed direct the remake for
2. Speaking of
3. Look! It’s Harry, Hermione, and Ron!
A Really Good Friday: First Look at Snake-Eyes!
March 21, 2008So I’ve been out almost the entire day, eating; And I’ve got to push one out like no one’s business. But since we’re a classy bunch here at Cinemabuzz!, we have a long-standing Post First, Poop Later policy. And by "long-standing," I mean "recently concocted." Anyway, look what the internet gave us today:
It’s Ray Park as Snake-Eyes! Holy crap!
One more photo, under the cut.
Napoleon Dynamite Creators Round Up a Conchord, Zaphod Beeblebrox, and Stifler’s Mom for “Gentlemen Broncos”
March 18, 2008It was announced yesterday that Jennifer Coolidge, best known for her work in the American Pie series as Stifler’s cougar mother, has joined Sam Rockwell (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Matchstick Men), Jemaine Clement (Eagle Vs. Shark, TV’s Flight of the Conchords), and Michael Angarano (Snow Angels, TV’s Will & Grace) in Jared and Jerusha Hess’s new film, Gentlemen Broncos.
The plot revolves around Angarano’s character, a high school student who discovers that his idea has been ripped off by a famous novelist, played by Clement. Rockwell appears as the book’s main character from both Angarano’s and Clement’s perspectives, while Coolidge will play the teen’s mother.
The Weekly Roundup: 03/16/08
March 16, 2008So here’s a summary of how Coquito Von Tito’s week went:
Minutes he spent researching for this article: 158
Number of times he had sex: 13
Number of times it was with himself: 11
Number of times he had actual sex: 2
Number of times it involved fifty pesos and their maid: 2
With that, here’s what the world of movies pooped out of its newshole this past week:
1. Haven’t seen The Incredible Hulk trailer yet? YOU FOOL! Head on over to Comicology to get your fix.
2. To anyone who actually owns all the Muppet movies on VHS (i.e. ME), this has got to be the type of news that will make your year: Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and his Five-Year Engagement writing partner Nick Stoller (2005’s Fun With Dick and Jane) have been tapped to create the next Muppet movie.
3. Hi-res Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs poster below, courtesy of Comingsoon.net. A lot of people have been complaining about how dinosaurs were extinct long before the ice age, and how this movie, based on its title and promotional material, makes absolutely no sense. To set things straight, I guess I’ll ask my therapist, who is also a functioning stapler, what he thinks.
(Overheard: M-hmm. Well… okay. Yeah you’re right, even if you are a talking stapler. Thanks.)
He says I should go get a life. And so should you, for even bothering with the plot holes of A FUCKING CARTOON MOVIE.
American Gangster 2-Disc DVD: In STEEL CASING, Biznatches!
March 14, 2008I come bearing good news today, and it’s about the release of a Limited Edition Two-Disc Steelcase DVD of American Gangster here in the Philippines!
Directed by Ridley Scott, the film, which is based on a true story, stars two-time Academy Award winner Denzel Washington (Glory, Training Day) as crafty Harlem heroin honcho, Frank Lucas, and Academy Award winner Russell Crowe (Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind) as Detective Richie Roberts, a New York City policeman who’s right on Lucas’ tail. The set is expected to be released on March 30, 2008.
The Casting Cabana: G.I. Joe Week! (The Good Guys! Part-o de Deux)
March 12, 2008We close out G.I. Joe Week with A Victoria’s Secret Supermodel, Randy Quaid’s Famous Brother, Some Girl Who Was In Dumb & Dumberer, and Captain Jackass Von Doucheington, as they all try to save the world from the evil Cobra Organization!
First up, we’ve got Karolína Kurková. She’s a
I think that portraying the Illinois-bred G.I. Jane won’t be a problem for the Czech supermodel. Kurková actually speaks very good English (with a slight British accent, even), unlike some of her fellow Angels, whose butchered methods of English can easily be described as "housemaid-ish, with a hint of cottonmouth." I know so, because I follow the
HAH! I WIN, STUPID MODELS!
Darren Aronofsky’s "The Wrestler"
March 11, 2008Like I said in the first ever Weekend Roundup, we try to relay film news which may have flown over your head, and we do particularize the ones that are currently in production. And I think that with every bit of awesome news that we have on this film so far, it deserves an article on its own. Besides, it covers something that I’m very familiar with (pro wrestling), as opposed to the other material I was working on (the very technical subject of film audio) before I decided to go forward with this one. Anyway, you can point and laugh at me later this week, when I make a fool out of myself and put that audio-related post up.
But today I’m going to geek out on the upcoming film The Wrestler, starring Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei, with Darren Aronofsky (Requiem For A Dream, The Fountain) at the helm. And in the vast yard that is pro wrestling, I, sir/ma’am, am the Big Dog! And you are the inanimate grass gnome. Or the friendly, little kitty. Maybe even the miniscule-yet-hardworking ant.
But it doesn’t matter, because I am the Big Dog! And I can easily destroy/eat/poop on you whenever damn well I please!
In the vast yard that is pro wrestling.
I’m pathetic.
Anyway, onto The Wrestler.
Mickey Rourke as Randy “The Ram” Robinson, looking very Jerry Lynn-ish.
I like.
