The Weekly Roundup: 03/09/08

This is where we list down the week’s movie news: the big ones that may need some reiteration, and the ones that may have flown over your head because you were too busy surfing for porn. Or tending to real life matters.

And that’s why I’m here - to hook you up with The Weekly Roundup, because I have enough time to read movie news AND surf for porn! And I don’t have real life matters to tend to! Sure, I haven’t felt a woman’s touch in three years, I spend Christmas alone, and I get thrown at with soda cans (empty or with content) everytime I try to make friends, but it’s okay! That means I get to spend all my money on myself and my fledgling heroin business! It’s the best!

1. Director Zack Snyder has leaked five new photos for Watchmen, exactly one year before the film’s release, giving us a first glance at Nite Owl, The Comedian, Rorschach, Ozymandias, and Silk Spectre.

2. 20th Century Fox’s Dragonball has been pushed back from an originally planned August, 2008 release date to April of next year, and not, as previously expected by this writer, to the more perfect date of NEVER.

3. We’ve got two new Star Wars-y Iron Man posters.

4. There’s actually a fourth The Fast and The Furious movie in the works, with all the major actors from the first one signed on. Title-guessing game time! I’m going for either The F4st and The Furious, 4 Fast 4 Furious 4 Realz, or We’re Not Kidding About A Fourth Fast and The Furious Movie, But That Noose Around Your Neck Won’t Be Necessary.

5. Patrick Swayze (Ghost, Dirty Dancing) has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We wish him a full recovery.

6. Photos from the X-Files 2 set have been made online. Major, major spoilers ahead. Also, HA-HA YOU WATCH X-FILES! NERD! (It’s okay to call you the N-word because I’m one of you guys)

7. Speaking of the N-word (the other one, at least), guess who the guy in the middle of the photo is? (Answer)

8. Elizabeth Banks (Slither, The 40 Year-Old Virgin) + Seth Rogen (Knocked Up, Superbad) = A Porno. Not in this photo, but during some other part in the Kevin Smith movie. Hopefully minus Seth Rogen. Plus ME.

9. Jason Reitman (Juno) will be directing Jim Carrey in Pierre Pierre, a comedy about a Frech nihilist (I don’t know what this means) who transports a painting from Paris to London.

10. Prepare to be blown away! By The Foot Fist Way! Plus points for using Andrew WK! In the trai… ler. Fuck!