The Casting Cabana: G.I. Joe Week! (The Good Guys! Part-o de Uno)
March 10, 2008Darth Maul, A Frenchie, A Wayans Brother, and a former LOST Guy Who Also Looks Like Booker T get to kick some Cobra Ass!
As the first order of business in casting actors for the Joes, the film’s producers have tapped Wushu expert, Ray Park, to join the team. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the name, well we can’t really blame you. Most of his previous film work required the use of heavy makeup: He was Darth Maul in Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace and played Toad in 2000’s X-Men. Another famous role didn’t even necessitate the use of his anatomy from the neck up (he was the Headless Horseman in Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow).
And this year, he’s set to don a pair of infamous masks for two major projects: One to play the title character in Marvel’s upcoming Iron Fist movie; and another for G.I. Joe as (prepare for some hyphen rape) the silent-because-he’s-actually-mute-so-don’t-be- insensitive-yet-uber-deadly Snake-Eyes.
Park’s other work include acting as punk club owner Brendan Mullen in the Darby Crash biopic What We Do Is Secret, cameo-ing in the geek comedy Fanboys, and playing (get ready to have your brains turn into shit) CHUCK NORRIS in a Chinese TV show based on the life of Bruce Lee, the trailer for which I’ve attached below. I implore you to watch the entire clip. Do it. Do it for the lulz. But if you’re not too keen on sparing a mere 6 minutes for some kickass kung-fu, Park is shown briefly at the 3:02 and 4:08 marks, and I think that that’s him getting his goofy ass awesomely juggled at the 4:55 mark.
The Weekly Roundup: 03/09/08
March 9, 2008This is where we list down the week’s movie news: the big ones that may need some reiteration, and the ones that may have flown over your head because you were too busy surfing for porn. Or tending to real life matters.
And that’s why I’m here - to hook you up with The Weekly Roundup, because I have enough time to read movie news AND surf for porn! And I don’t have real life matters to tend to! Sure, I haven’t felt a woman’s touch in three years, I spend Christmas alone, and I get thrown at with soda cans (empty or with content) everytime I try to make friends, but it’s okay! That means I get to spend all my money on myself and my fledgling heroin business! It’s the best!
1. Director Zack Snyder has leaked five new photos for Watchmen, exactly one year before the film’s release, giving us a first glance at Nite Owl, The Comedian, Rorschach, Ozymandias, and Silk Spectre.
2. 20th Century Fox’s Dragonball has been pushed back from an originally planned August, 2008 release date to April of next year, and not, as previously expected by this writer, to the more perfect date of NEVER.
3. We’ve got two new Star Wars-y Iron Man posters.
The Casting Cabana: G.I. Joe Week! (The Cobra Organization Part 2)
March 6, 2008We continue The Casting Cabana’s G.I. Joe Week with details as to who’ll be playing Zartan, Destro, and Cobra Commander!
Another villain making an appearance in the film is Zartan, leader of the Dreadnoks. Director Stephen Sommers has enlisted an old crony in the form of Arnold Vosloo (Imhotep in the Mummy series, Habib Marwan in Season Four of 24 a.k.a. One of the Best Shows On TV Or Elsewhere, Given That Such Similar Media Exist, Ever) to play the hooded hooligan.
Rolling Stones Documentary; Keith Richards Is the New Face/Thing of Louis Vuitton
March 5, 2008It’s a slow Wednesday morning for Coquito Von Tito, and what purpose do I serve this universe if I didn’t infect you guys with the Lazy Bug and make you hate me in the process. So I’m going to smack you with a two-hit combo of really boring shit. You ready?
(POW!) A DOCUMENTARY!
(KA-POW!) ABOUT OLD PEOPLE!
Shine A Light, Martin Scorcese’s follow-up to his Oscar-winning opus "The Departed," is described as a "career-spanning documentary" on the legendary rock quartet, The Rolling Stones. The movie catches up with Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, and Ron Wood in the midst of their "A Bigger Bang Tour," with guest appearances by Bill and Hillary Clinton, Christina Aguilera, Jack White, and Scorcese himself. The film will also feature performance footage from the said tour.
Shine A Light premiered at the Berlin Film Festival back in February, and will gain wide release in multiple major territories on April 4, 2008.
But the big news today is that fashion stalwart Louis Vuitton has decided to follow their endorsement deals with Scarlett Johansson and Uma Thurman by signing 64 year-old Stones guitarist Keith Richards as the new face of their company.
Yes, really.
I can totally see the tagline: "Carry our bags and look like Death."
The Casting Cabana: G.I. Joe Week! (The Cobra Organization Part 1)
Welcome to the first ever edition of CINEMABUZZ’s Casting Cabana, where we update you on the latest casting news and gossip that’s got our collective panties in a bunch. Now I know “The Casting Couch” would have been a more obvious choice for a name, but we here at CINEMABUZZ are so unpredictable and so anti-obvious that— BAM!
DAKOTA FANNING DOLL WITH A PLASTIC HORSE RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! Bet you didn’t see that one coming!
Now I know what you’re thinking: 1. Why hasn’t anyone given Coquito Von Tito his meds today? And 2. Pray tell, what film’s casting information will he bless us with this week to kick off such a glorious series? And the answers to those questions are: 1. Burt Reynolds. And 2. G.I. Joe, of course!
Welcome to Cinemabuzz! Iron Man! That’s About It!
March 4, 2008Greetings, movie buff! Welcome to CINEMABUZZ!, a blog about the world of CINEMA. And guess what? It’ll also involve some BUZZ!
Cinema? Buzz? Cinemabuzz? Get it? Yay! Don’t you just love wordplay and puns? No? Well that’s very sad. Might I say, it’s sad-tastic.
I totally killed this blog before I even finished with its first ever post, didn’t I? Yeah.
Moving on. We will be chronicling the goings-on in the industry, from production news to casting rumors. We will be posting trailers and photos of all the films currently generating the most buzz. We will also be providing you with the occasional reviews of new releases in theaters and on DVD. Hell, we might even take your sister out on a date and never call her back. Because that’s how we roll! (We don’t even know what that statement means but we believe it involves some spinning and turning of sorts. At least that’s what my Uncle Tito tells us. He’s an alcoholic. Poor Uncle Tito.
Anyway, what better way to kick things off here at CINEMABUZZ! other than with some (cue Black Sabbath) IIIRON MAAAN!
