The Casting Cabana: First Lady Laura Bush Is Totally Bangable

April 2, 2008

We’re kicking off the month of April with the return of The Casting Cabana, and we’ve got news on which four actors will be playing America’s First Family in Oliver “Captain Timing” Stone’s upcoming George Bush biopic, “W.”

 

In a bold casting move that’s bound to make for awkward future wanking to Slither or The 40 Year-Old Virgin, the film’s producers have tapped girl number 4 on my Five (5) Celebrities Whose Trunks I Need to Put My Junk In Before I Die list, Elizabeth Banks, to play the reigning and defending First Lady of the United States of America, Laura Bush. 

In case you’re wondering, Mandy Moore is tops in my aforementioned list, followed by Anne Hathaway and Zooey Deschanel at numbers 2 and 3, with TNA Knockout Christy Hemme rounding out the bunch at number 5.

 

Now that we’ve established that I’m a total perv, do you notice how I set this article to go live at midnight on April 2nd, despite it being late in the afternoon on the 1st as I type this? It’s because I didn’t want you guys to misconstrue this as an elaborate April Fool’s prank. This is really happening.

 

I also have three testicles.

 

Again, it’s April 2.

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